Depersonalization disorder symptoms and conditions

When i was 13 i was put on paxil for major depression. I stayed on it till i was about 17 after a downward spiral of depression that lead to a suicide attempt. After that the doctors decided that Paxil wasn't benefiting me anymore and decided to take me off of it, cold turkey. At that time i was on 40mg.
I started getting zapping headaches, muscle spasms, i was sensitive to light, my body ached, i had hot flashes, pretty much anything over stimulated me... i was irritated with just hearing anyone talk, i was completely out of touch with anything around me and i didn't feel like i was real.. I basically shut myself in my room for over a month getting over paxil. My family was afraid i was planning suicide.
After that, it's made me afraid to take any of my prescribed antidepressants, but i just cannot go through that again. At the time they put me on it, there was nothing that said that it was addictive, i was even told that there was no proof that it was addictive.
Also, I still experience the headache zaps to this day, and im 22 now, and i never had those type of headaches before paxil. I really think my mental illness is a lot worse from paxil. I have depersonalization disorder now, my short-term memory's crap, im more uncoordinated, im a lot more depressed and social phobic.. i know part of it could be from not taking any meds at all.. but i know that paxils really screwed me up, and i would have been a lot better not taking it at all. I just wish they would have warned me before putting me on it, or warning me before taking me off.