Digs symptoms and conditions

Hi. I went on Lamictal April 2007 after being diagnosed w/ BiPolar. The key issue that brought me to the psychiatrist to begin with was acute depression following a divorce, move cross country, losing my job and my only son going off to college. All the big stress factors - short of death in family. Nonetheless, I was nervous that one year after all these crises that I was, if anything, feeling worse. I had been able to handle all the changes during them, but now that they were over all I wanted to do was sleep all day.... Anyway, I had been on Paxil for years re anxiety, and my psychiatrist decided to keep my on the Paxil till I tolerated the Lamictal, then get me off the Paxil..... Well, the 20 mg of Paxil and the 100 mg of Lamictal worked great, I thought; the Lamictal really raised the bottom.... BUT, apparently Paxil fuels mania, so after a few months, I was taken off the Paxil completely and my Lamictal went up to 200 mg. Almost IMMEDIATELY upon going to 200 mg Lamictal my ankles / feet / legs got enormously swollen. Plus, I noticed that my hair started to fall out // thin out.... Plus -- and I don't know if this is the Lamictal or the absence of the Paxil, but I sob uncontrollably almost 24/7. The sobbing and anxiety and sense of dread and sadnessness has persisted even when the Lamictal was dropped to 100 mg and the shrink added first Clonazepam .5 mg, then when that wasn't calming me, changed me to 1mg Xanax -- each as needed. The Xanax isn't helping me either, and now I also feel paranoid. So, in short: Lamictal at 200 mg makes my feet / ankles / legs swell or suffer edema; Lamcital as low as 100 mg makes my hair thin out; and either the Lamictal or the loss of the Paxil or these anti-anxieity meds (Clonazepam or Xanax) are making me paranoid, profoundly sad and depressed, panicked, anxious, stressed out and, most urgently, make me sob uncontrollably 24/7... My shrink says that we should use anti-depressants with bipolar, and that Paxil fuels the mania, but I tell you, I'd rather be manic and screaming at everyone than so depressed that I'm fearful and sobbing constantly.... Any answers out there: Any anti-depressants for your bipolar?