Fitness industry symptoms and conditions

I have recently been diagnosed with severe depression with ADHD (inattentiveness) which is now suspected to be due to the depression. I also have OCD which I can remember symptoms of, since chilkdhood. I was placed on Paxil, in my early twenties, to treat OCS, and anxiety. It helped with the anxiety at the great expense of a complete loss of sex drive, imagination and ideas, motivation and lethargy. I also put on a nasty amount of weight and lost passion for things. I took myself off Paxil, dangerously, cold turkey. In my late twenties I discovered ephedrine and felt "clear." I went to my doc who promptly switched me to Ritalin, concerned by my self medicating with the infamous and deadly ephedrine cocktails that are commonly used in the fitness industry to drop weight, among other things. The Ritalin, while not as much impact as ephi, seems to help.

Now in my 30's,assuming I, like many of my relatives who have been diagnosed, have adult ADHD, juggling a career, wonderful relationship, friendships and my fitness lifestyle, I was sent to the Psychiatrist again to treat major depression that was exasperated by a recent stressful work situation, a job that I have since quit.

I have been on "trials" with drugs such as Wellbutrin, Dexedrine, and Cipralex. After feeling stoned on my first week of Cipralex, I have been placed on Wellbutrin XL 300mg, and Dexedrine spansules, 20 mg x 2 daily. In the beginning, while feeling "foggier" It showed much promise. My Doctor told me that the brain fog (which I ironically enough have been trying to combat with Ritalin) would subside after about a month or two. Miracles did not occur. I guess I expected one. I thought meds would bring the hop back into my step and song into my heart again. Not the case.

In the beginning, I did notice less downers, less fear of what others thought of me, less obsession with perfection in every eay, and less self blame and shame. I was beginning to feel saved. After 5 months, things went downhill - worse than before I sought out help. It has been 6 months on Wellbutrin and Dexedrine (occasionally switching to Ritalin in hopes of identifying which more successfully lifts the fog) I am miserable... I am losing my confidence with driving - this is creepy - I find that what was normally automatic responsed (ie: Red means stop and Green means go) It now takes me a few seconds to remoind myself what means what as I approch each intersection. Tell me this wouldn't make anyone feel retarded. Last week, I had a hard time organizing 2 identical stacks of 4 papers that needed to be stapled together. I had to recount them, re-arrange them more than once to make for certain that they were as they should be. This freaked me out and now my new employers are beginning to notice my slowness with things, I have also become even more paranoid that others in the office are out to take my job, regret hiring me, or are conspiring to fire me, unhappy with me performance. This hyper-sensitivity became obvious to my employers when they approached me about their deep concern of watching the confident take charge woman they hired for a senior position, "wither away and become overly apologetic and meak." My heart is breaking. I now think of doom, failure and death on a daily basis. I won't harm myself physically but I am tormenting myself emotionally. I can't tell you all how much energy it is taking me to write this. I have NO energy or drive. I lost passion for things including my pets who now just piss me off. I lost a lot my compassion for others, keen imagination and passion that I was known for. I don't care that I have not returned my friends and families phone calls. I am becoming a real loser, so to speak.

My ADHD seems to be at its worst. My brain literally feels like there are cotton balls stuffed behind my forehead, behind my eyes, causing pressure and foggy loss of sharpness, wit and clarity. It feels that if I could just remove the cotton, All the clarity would be "there." Reading an earlier post by someone else describing her symptoms as a "head full of cotton balls," has inspired me to add my own 2 cents.

My doc has added a prescription for Cellexa, that I am to add to my Wellbutrin and Dexedrine cocktail. I feel like what makes me me, is dying. My fiance is concerned that I am become someone else, not me. My employers are wondering where the woman is they hired back in May. I have always struggled with self esteem issues but I have learned to fake confidence until I can build it for myself. Also, I have come to the belief that everyone suffers from some level of vulnerable or low self-esteem. Some are better than others at compensating for it or covering it up behind an armor or wall of false acts of confidence.

I no longer get the highs I once enjoyed when making a sale, creating success for my clients and my company. I no longer feel driven to achieve and grow. The desire is still there, but I can't seem to summon enough motivation or energy to undertake anything as simple as calling a client. I am beginning to feel like I am dead inside. I need to talk to my employers but it is hard to have others understand or empathize when in comes to mental illness. There is still so much prejudice and ignorance associated with it. Those who don't understand it or have experience with it, fear people who have it, presuming that we are unpredictable and dangerous I feel guilty killing a spider...

The weight loss has been great - I went from an athletic 127 lbs at 5' 4" to a very toned 118 lbs. I am hoping that it is more to do with my Yasmin birth control pills that I have also been placed on, 6 months ago. I am now wondering if they have anything to do with it too.

I feel as though pills are being made out to sound like the answer. Here's another pill, and another pill and another one... I fear that the more pills I take, the more lost the real me becomes. I fear that one day I might not be able to get her (me) back.

Anyone else share the above?

God Bless us all, we need it!

I get HEADACHES that don't go away. I know this a listed side-efect, but I was given this inhaler the last time I got Bronchitis. The name Albuterol was in the name of the inhaler so I assumed it was like other inhalers I was given when I would get bad Bronchitis (turns out it was Albuteral Sulfate HFA). The Bronchitis I get, happens at least once every 2 years and on down years mabe twice a year or twice every 15 months. I don't smoke, rarely drink, have no medical conditions (including Asthma), and I'm in the fitness industry, so I'm in great shape, eat a damn good diet, etc.. But nothing can overcome, either bad luck or bad genes or certain physical weaknesses. Not sure which it is that makes me so susceptible to Bronchitis, but I have to deal with it quite often it seems. It happens the same way each time - Beginning with a sore throat & stuffy head (no headache just horribly stuffed up) then after 3-5 days the sore thoat goes away and it moves down into my chest to a cough, then in about 48hrs it turns into full-blown Bronchitis where I can't breathe w/o wheezing and eventually coughing - nights are the worst.
So I go to my doctor and am prescribed antibiotics, sometimes narcotic cough syrup (yum) and an inhaler. It was ALWAYS just Albuterol in th past ( I know it was different because there was no 'Sulfate' or 'HFA' in the name and the inhaler looked different (color, length, even the horrible aftertaste it gave - but I knew it worked). With this Albuterol Sulfate HFA inhaler, yes it has a different color, packaging, length etc.. and all together which I would chalk up to no big deal (I'm not a M.D. or Pharmacist, so maybe it's a different company making the same medication). But the addition of 'Sulfate on the end of the name and the missing horrible aftertaste (which I miss only because the previous Albuterol inhalers I recieved worked great and I felt better in hours despite the wretched taste), let me suspect I was given a new inhaler medication. Well I got all better in about 5 days (about 3 more than t usually takes me) and it turns out I was given a different medication because the government seems to think my previous inhaler was for only those with certain medical conditions, was often abused(? news to me, why would somne abuse something that tastes so bad - I guess it got them feeling high - I don't know or care to),
Anyway, this inhaler was also responsible for TERRIBLE HEADACHES ( and I was already sick with a sever cough, congestion, a little fever, sore throat, and lots of yellowish mucus(sorry for the description),. I sure as hell didn't need a horrible headache to follow that, and these would only appear after I used the inhaler (it took me a couple days to figure this out), and they'sd stick around for about 12 hrs. I didn't want to take anymore advil or tylenol than I already was considering the rest of the medicine I was already taking.
So apparently my M.D. could've prescribed me the old Albuterol (I think), but for some reason the government put restrictins on it's distribution, either that or he was very scared to prescribe it. And this was coming from a M.D. who at the same time prescribed 300ml of Vicodin Tuss cough syrup. I know the horror stories of Vicodin, and I didn't even come close to sing all that cough syrup.
I just can't help but wonder why the previous Albuterol inhaler that helped so well over the years suddenly has a problem with the AMA or DEA or one of those agencies. This was the same type of inaler that worked well for my Bronchitis - and I'm sure thousands of other patients - over the past several years.) Again, I usually get it once a year, and go to the same M.D. who prescribes me the same Antibiotic, Cough syrup, and inhaler).
Whatever the case, I plan on politely asking my M.D. the next time I'm in there, but I've read quite a bit about Albuterol's sudden problems with dispensing now that this SulfateHFA has come along.
Well... WARNING: It will give you HORRIBLE HEADACHES and according to the post above me, it might even give you BRONCHITIS!!! The same stuff I was prescibed it to get rid of. This is just a microchosim of a microchosim of what is wrong with our government - in particular the Health Care industry. Find something that works.... might as well get rid of it, because a few bad apples are spoiling the bunch.
Imagine what would happen if they stopped using Morphine or Morphine derivitive pankillers just because there is a huge segment of this country's society abusing them? Don't get me wrong, painkiler abuse has become an epidemic in this country and a cousn of mine blew his head off after getting hooked to Oxycontin after severe back surgery, and when the Dr. wouldn't give him anymore for his pain, he went to the streets - a few months later he committed suicide and left behind a wife a baby boy. All due to getting what the Dr's and specialists told him was surgery ( he was a farmer and manual labor, including bending over, was something he did for years - but he had a wife and family to support)on his lower back that was absolutely necessary, and he was told it would give him a pain free life from then on and he could return to work. So I understand when companies are scared of drug abuse, or use for other than what wa intended. And for the record I'm so happy Oxycontin got their pants sued off for millions of dollars(and on a side note Rudy Guiliani, who wants to be outr next President, lobbyed on behalf of Purdue Pharma (makes of Oxycontin) for lenancy before the criminal sentance came down. And that supposed 'Great Leader' Guliani, knew full well of the misleading info that Purdue gave to Doctors about Oxycontn being a 'safe alternative' to addictive painkillers, and he knew how Purdue spent millions promoting Oxycontn's 'almost non-existant potential for abuse,' even after all these overdoses, addictions, and suicides that have been blamed on the drug. Yet due to his stake in the stock and his close position with Purdue's CEOs, even after everything, after Oxy's horror stories and addiction potential was fully known, and after thousands have either died or become addicted to this drug, and even after Purdue Pharma was found GUILTY in a Criminal Caseof misleading the Public(including Doctors) in the abusive potential of what has become one of the most abused drug in decades, Oxycontin, Rudy Guliani still got up in front of a judge in court to ask for leniency in his punishment of Purdue Pharma.
But is Albuterol Oxycontin - I don't think so.
If you are prescibes Albuterol Sulfate HFA - ask for something else, the side effects can hurt an already bad situation and there is already a different inhaler out there with Albuterol that works like a charm. And it certainly isn't addictive as a dirivite of morphine and heroin - like Oxycontin.