Fulfilling life symptoms and conditions

I was prescribed Lamictal around this time two years ago (July '07) for Borderline Personality Disorder. At first I thought it was great and I felt like it'd been a miracle drug -- the drive back home from the psychiatrist's office that day was such a feeling of relief because I was going to get my miracle drug, finally. Later the next month I moved away from home and began college in the lower half of the state and stopped taking the medication because I noticed that I feeling any difference, or experiencing any change in my moods. Infact, I felt exactly the same as I had before. I looked up the medicine derivative drug and found out that it has a "placebo-like effect with highly addictive qualities".... which made me think that once again, my problem is all in my head. I still feel like I need to be on some kind of medication, but I am not willing to part entirely with my authentic self just to make some other people's lives easier. If they think my mood swings and attempts at self-destruction effect them negatively, just wait until you are the one having them and you can't control them! I don't want to become a zombie, I don't want to lose my hair, and I don't want to gain 30 lbs, but I feel like there's nothing else I can do. But then again, there doesn't seem to be any drug that can help without the drastic side-effects.

Sheesh.

To Guest MD: I cannot believe your audacity in stating that Levaquin could not be the cause of our problems, and I think you are a coward for not leaving your name. I was given Levaquin in June of last year, and within 3 days began to experience pain in my joints and muscles. By day 5 I was in so much pain, I literally could not get out of my bed. I also experienced severe headaches, insomnia, and tremors. In the following 3 months, I developed tendonitis with no preceding injury, elevated white blood counts with no infection, so many complications that they are too numerous to mention. Prior to taking Levaquin, I lead an active and fulfilling life. Now that life is nothing but a memory, and my doctor said IT WAS THE LEVAQUIN. The sheer volume of the research material documenting fluoroquinolone adverse reactions simply highlights your inadequacy as an MD. I sincerely hope that none of your patients have been harmed because of your ignorance and lack of compassion and understanding of adverse drug events. How you manage to maintain your license and patient base is beyond my comprehension! All I can say is I am truly grateful that you are not my physician!