Go places symptoms and conditions

hi guys,

finding your posts so helpful.
i've been on yasmin for nearly 5 years and its only just dawned on me recently that my:
-anxiety/mood swings/erratic behaviour
-body hair growth
-weight gain
-increase in discharge etcetc
could actually be from the pill!!

i was always so bubbly and strong but i seem to cry now at silly things and i just don't feel myself. i initially went on the pill when i was 17 because my periods were so bad but i'm not sure what to do now... change pill or come off pills altogether?!

i'd love some feedback if any of you have been in a similar position, thanks so much

xxx

I've had prescriptions for alprazolam for over 3 yrs. I love this drug more than sex, food, vacations- it's the best feeling in the world to me. I can go places I normally feel uncomfortable, like a sports bar. The only bad part are the seizures when I run out- I can't hold onto a bottle loger than half a month- and I get over 100 mgs- I've had one on the beach, in a car, at 2 different jobs, in the shower- I've gotten better, though. Now, I taper off as much as possible- Xanax is responsible for the loss of my truest, longest love, my car, my best job, my independence/apartment, friends, family, money, reputation-- but I still love to take my Xanax tea and listen to music and see where the day takes me more than anything else- Oh yeah- it also makes me crave going to Manhattan to walk from one end to the other with my headphones- my advice-- never run out and always taper off halving for at least 5 days and finish with small amounts, even .25 for a week. I'm currently on 3 sticks a day :) Maybe the next seizure will kill me, but I'll go happy. One really great side effect is the memory loss- all the stuff that used to depress me has burned away.

What drives me crazy are the things that involve my brain. This includes speeking, thinking and comprehending, and memory loss. When I go to talk, instead of saying "vinegar" it comes out "vigenar" for example. People have to tell me things over and over and most of the times very slowly until I have it correctly in my head. It frustrates me so. However, the memory loss is the worst. It as if I have become an amnesia patient. I am currently dating a man that I dated a few years ago. We go places that I think we have never been before. So I start telling him about the place and what I like about the place and I go on and on and then it dawns on me that we have been there together and I feel like an idiot and become so embarrased. Or I start to say something like, "Did we ever go to such and such a place?" and he might say, "No, why?" Now, in my head I'm thinking it was him and actually it might have been another guy, but I can't remember so I have to cover for myself so I say, "Oh, it must have been a dream I had of you." Now the doctor who checked me in for my last hospitalization said, "Well, if you can stand the confusion for a little bit longer and lose some more weight, why not stay on it?" I don't know if it's worth it....