Living in fear symptoms and conditions

I havnt written on the forum in so long its really painful somedays to read of all the women sufferring so its very difficult for me to even talk about it most days

I have been off Yaz for 4 months today
I have had nearly every symptom mentioned

Thyroid elevated
Blood Pressure raised
Heart palps
Muscle weakness
Terrible horrible anxiety
Depressed thoughts
Not feeling like myself
No confidence anymore
Feeling of never getting well
Vaginal infection
Loss of interest in doing everything I love
Right eye feels odd the lid
Insomnia severe
Loss of appetite

As I sit here typing I miss the old me it is like the last 4 months have been a blur a rollercoaster unimaginable nightmare

Prior to starting Yaz I was having a great life nice boyfriend fun shopping going out planning trips cleaning gardening working you name it I did it and never ever experience saddness depression or anxiety
I was completely confident holistic easy going even tempered

I was on the pill 3 weeks 2 days off of it and I was hysterical and thought I was losing my mind and going crazy I cried and didnt leave the house for 6 weeks cried and had my family witness me almost losing my mind or so I thought

Although I have made progress I still am not working
I cant be a mom like I was to my daughter
I dont have confidence
I lost 14 lbs
I feel shakey in my arms still and have no clue if it is anxiety stress hormonal or if I have some unexplained illness
I dont know

Living in fear everyday of not being me again is tearing me apart

I had the hormone pellets biodentical inserted 3 weeks ago to try and give me a edge on balancing out I have seen psychologists psychaitrists medical doctors wellness doctors hormonal doctors

No one knows no one understands no one knows whats wrong

Iam forgetting things things I know I know its all scary

I hold hope that Bitter RN is better and a few of you

I want to be me again

What is it we are feeling off the pill months later like m

Is it hormonal is it Post Traumatic Stress is it the anxiety is it depression is it medical problems I dont know
All Iknow is I was healthy and fine and now all this

Anyone who can shed light and hope please say

Hi ladies,
Well it has been 4.5 months since I took my last Yasmin pill and I am finally starting to notice a real difference in my anxiety level. Within a month of starting Yasmin, I developed panic attacks, generalized anxiety, depression, severe mood swings, and an array of physical symptoms such as nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, weight gain, joint aches and pains, headaches, and blurred vision. After stopping Yasmin, I noticed the physical symptoms disappeared within a month, but I was left with the emotional symptoms, particularly anxiety. I would cry at the drop of a hat and I became hypersensitive to everything. I became very insecure, started taking everything personally, and the anxiety and panic attacks created a lot of self doubt which I am still dealing with. Only now, 4.5 months later, am I starting to have more normal days similar to the old me, but the anxiety is still there (at a much lower level though) and I do deal with irrational thoughts at different points in my cycle. All I can say is this is probably the worst thing I have ever put in my body and it is pure poison. If it weren't for this website and having friends that I e-mail who are going through the same thing, I probably would have lost everything and been in some mental institution. These have been some of the worst months of my life when they could have been the best because I have so much to be thankful for and I really have a great life. Yasmin has made me question everything about myself and every aspect of my life including personal relationships and my job. Somewhere along the way, I kind of forgot who I was because of the constant anxiety and living in fear. Now that I am finally starting to feel better, I am trying to re-claim what was lost and build things back up, but it is a slow and emotionally difficult process because I am having a hard time trusting myself and others. To all of you who are still on Yasmin, I strongly advise you to quit if you are developing symptoms such as mine. I wouldn't wish this experience on my worst enemy. Good luck to all of you in Yasmin recovery--it does get better, but it takes time and patience.