Marital relationship symptoms and conditions

I have been on zoloft for 18 years, mostly at 50 mg. This time period includes when I was pregnant and breastfed my son, now age 9, who is a special needs child. I regret taking zoloft during my son's babyhood but was hooked, told it would be OK by my doctors and was afraid to go off. I have never gone above a size 14 before going on zoloft, usually hovering around size 10 or 12 and wishing I was an 8. Well, I am now a size 24 and weigh over 200 pounds. My stomach is so huge people often think I'm pregnant which is a source of huge embarrassment for me. I find it impossible to control my desire for sugar which I crave to boost my energy. I am often sleepy in the afternoon yet can't get myself to bed early enough. I am apathetic about everything except my son. I have gone months without sex and didn't miss it at all -- thank god for a saint of a husband. Recently I started up sex with my husband even though my drive was still very low, as I saw it really helped my marital relationship. How nice it would be to actually feel a sexual desire before we start up. I crave wine at night to calm me down despite being on this drug. I feel like my brain is sluggish and I've lost some major IQ points. I hope that's only temporary. I have no desire to leave the house and would be happy to stay home all day which is I'm sure due to the drug. I can't get myself to exercise. I feel this drug has put me into a sort of walking coma. I want to go off and will begin soon -- I have set myself up for a tapering schedule that will extend to over a year using liquid zoloft and going down over 10% a month to minimize the brain zaps and depression backlash. I hope I can do it -- my husband wants so badly to get back the size 10 sexy woman he once knew. I want her back too. I hate this drug with a vengeance and am furious I was ever put on it. Absolutely furious.