Smoking weed symptoms and conditions

I have been on Paxil off and on now for about 5 years.... the current length of treatment for the past 1 1/2 years. I need to be on it ( or something for that matter ) for my panic disorder. I am a 36 year old nurse/ manager and some days was almost debilitated by panic attacks. Depression was part of it, but not nearly as much as panic. I must say, that I have been experiencing memory loss now for about a year.... I thought maybe it was due to overwork/ stress...which I do understand it COULD be. However, I find it interesting that I am seeing so many more people with memory loss than I imagined. Is it due to stress in this type of people's lives, or is it in fact, the drug Paxil?
Keep in mind this is an SSRI ( Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor ) ~~ even though there is no solid evidence (YET!) this is a side effect of the drug, I would bet my license on the fact that that it is!
I have tried time and time again to wean myself off of Paxil.. ( with and without my Dr's advice )--- I did succeed for a few years to be without the medicine, however being on a slew of other meds in the interim did not help as much for the panic as does the Paxil. Paxil, honestly, scares the hell out of me!
Besides the "numb emotions", memory loss, sexual appetite decrease, yawning, lack of sleep, etc... the side effects of coming off of it are worse! As I read earlier, it IS addictive, indeed! The brain gets used to the drug being there ( as with any addiction ), and the "surges" of dizziness, sweats, and out-of-body-like experiences I experience coming off of the drug are excruciatingly harder to bare than the depression itself. Those above symptoms of withdrawal are just that....withdrawal!
Once your body is "allowed" to reuptake serotonin (as it is supposed to), this is when those symptoms raise their head...sometimes for weeks or months until they subside.
I would welcome anyone with help on this matter---is there another Drug out there that can help with anxiety/depression symptoms, and not cause the plethora of side effects we have all discussed here?
Diane

I was prescribed Clonazepam for anxiety about 3 months ago coupled with a generic version of zooloft. I am definately starting to feel insane. My head aches at random times. I do still drink and smoke leafy substances, which i know is not recomended, but I am still in college and I feel sometimes like its the only way to meet ppl, drinking/partying, especially in places where there isn't much else. I want to get off the drug, but I am so afraid of the side effects. I don't really feel better on it. because I like having energy, I am a spunky girl and it takes away my spunk. I just wanna know how to function in society. I get nervous around new ppl, especially bosses/or anyone in my field, if I don't take the drug, but I can't even really tell if it is helping. At first it was fine, but now my head hurts all over/ headache. I forget things, which may be the sertraline, but regardless I want to get off of it. I feel more insane now than I did before.