Suicidal actions symptoms and conditions

I had trouble with my vision, sweating more than usual, mania and then about 4 days after my dose was increased to 150mg from 75mg I I suffered from blackouts, confusion, suicidal thoughts, suicidal actions which resulted in a stand off with the police. I have been in and out of the mental hospital for the past month until I refused to take anymore anti depressants and became stable on my own. I still have some panic attacks and nightmares which I have never had before in my life. I would advise any one who is prescribed this medication to report all side effects they are experiencing to their doctor because once you start blacking out it's too late for you reach out for help. I will never take another drug that interferes with the chemicals in my brain and am seeking counsiling to deal with my social anxiety disoder rather than taking meds.