Suppressive drugs symptoms and conditions

I have been on prednisone for 11+ years due to having had a heart transplant. The prednisone keeps my heart from rejecting.
I have not taken it for 2 days and I am in the process of passive suicide.
I am driving out west into the desserts to sit and die. I can no longer
be around people for I am afraid I may kill someone or at least significantly hurt them. I have been homicidal and suicidal for 11 years due to this med. I would enjoy killing everyone and everything. I hate myself and I want to die.
Prednisone made me become "Evil"; Hell incarnated. I don't want to live
in a mental institution and my doctor will only give me Seroquel thinking this will help me. I tell him it doesn't help me but he thinks it does. Stupid fucking doctor. My transplant docotrs won't even listen to me when I talk about "mental" issues. Everything pisses me off. It is raining outside and this makes me so mad and stressed.
I have been in this psychotically angry and agitated state of mind for 11 years. I have punched myself many times in the head and banged my
head against walls trying to get homicidal and suicidal thoughts out of my mind to no avail.
I would like to try ECT (electro-convulsive-therapy) but I won't even
mention this to my doctor because he will literally laugh at me and make me so god dam mad that I would enjoy killing him right then and there. I'm sick and tired of living in hell everyday.
Do not take prednisone no matter what, unless your life depends on it. And then what type of life will you have? Maybe a life full of hate, rage, anger, homicidal and suicidal thougts even when you dream.
Fuck life!
Arthur X 1968-2009

I had a kidney transplant a year and half ago, and had to take Prednisone as one of my post-transplant med's. I was on it for about 2 months and I went through a lot of the same side effects mentioned by other people, increased appetite and weight gain in odd places, sleeplessness, and acne. Then recently I had an allergic reaction to an antibiotic and was again prescribed prednisone for three weeks, but this time the acne is so bad it looks like a rash, and it's all over my back, chest, neck especially, and on my face. I can deal with it because I realize it's what I need to do, and I am grateful that there is a drug that can treat the symptoms from the allergy, but I am wondering how long it will take for the acne to clear up once I finish the 3 weeks? Does anyone know how long it takes when you've been on it for that amount of time? Any thoughts would be helpful. Thanks.
Megan