Hi, My name's Linzi. I stumbled across this site because i ...

Hi, My name's Linzi. I stumbled across this site because i am at an all time low and am trying to find out a reason. My life is fine, with no reason to be depressed. However I finally had to go to an emergencey psychiatrist to get an injection because my panic attacks got so bad i was scared to be left on my own incase i didn't know what i was doing. All my anxiety, worrying, panicking and depression started in may, when i broke down, convinced i'd gone crazy, and just screamed and cried waiting for someone to come get me and take me in a straight jacket. Never happened. Since that point i have been fighting with my thoughts, being scared that i will not have control of myselft and so on. I pin pointed the other day that i started on Yasmin after i had my copper coil removed in May, exactly when this started. Other sideeffects, I weigh 69 kilo, that is 10.5 stone, I am 6 foot tall, 24 years old, have gorgeous boyfriend who i haven't kissed for i don't know how long. Sex drive in non existent, we have sex maybe 1 time per month if lucky, then it is like robot sex, no passion because i feel nothing. That upsets me more. I am prone to tantrums, when i get my period i sink, he sees me spiralling out of control, we discuss everything, i threaten to leave, then next day, bingo! all is ok. I have done little girly tantrums, jumping up and down, going red in face and screaming with frustration over...a broken plate, a messy table and other such things. I feel the panic building up like a knot in my chest, and i can't cope anymore with simple things like eating at his parents house. I spilled a whole bowl of soup because i couldn't deal with the pressure of trying to be neat and tidy. Ridiculous i know, but i am going on antidepressents, well a drug for panick and anxiety and nervousness. I have zero appetite, eat maybe 2 slices of toast in a day and don't notice being hungry, i lost weight over christmas, which isn't normal. I have had suicidal thoughts and still do, but mainly it is a major panic that i will kill myself and not realise what i am doing, even thought it is something i don't want to do. Lost all purpose. I found this site, and realised it is regularly read. How long will it take before i feel better. I hate this, i am hanging on between shrink appointments just so i don't run in to the street screaming, it is such a horrible feeling. I was a straight A student, really succesful, got my degree and everything, now i sit at home, stare at a wall and don't go to work anymore. Will this stop? I need it to before i lose it. Linzi ******