I've been on Topamax (for seizures) for almost 2 years now, gradu...

I've been on Topamax (for seizures) for almost 2 years now, gradually increasing my dosage from 150 mg/day to 400 mg/day when I learned that 150mg is a migraine sufferer's dosage and not a Epilepsy dosage. I mention that because at 150mg, the side effects were present, but tolerable. I had the tingling fingers, eye twitching that was only behind my right eye (seems everyone only has it behind their right eye...why is that?), I can't find the right words in conversation, memory loss , constant sleepiness, backaches, depression, etc. At 400mg, I was an emotional wreck...I could not handle my emotions anymore. I would cry hysterically when talking for no reason, I couldn't concentrate on my work as an analyst, I had to read and re-read instructions in order to understand them, and sometimes read them out loud....and this is the kicker...sometimes when I'm buying something and at the check-out, it'll take forever to do something as simple to count out change. I have given the wrong change to cashiers a few times and then told them something to cover up my embarrassment like "Oh, I thought I gave you a quarter!", when in all actuality, I thought I gave them the correct change. I feel like a moron pretty much all of the time. I used to pride myself on my intelligence and speaking ability but on Topamax, that is seriously diminished. I don't know if this is related, but because of my inability to concentrate, I lost my job in Nov. '06. I thought I lost my insurance too, so I made the decision to stop my seizure meds, thinking that I was "cured". Well, I had another seizure in Jan '07 and am back on Topamax...depressed, twitching eye, the whole gamut. But you know what? The entire month of January, before my seizure...before Topamax...was the happiest I've been in sooo long. It's not worth losing a few pounds for.