I havnt written on the forum in so long its really painful someda...

I havnt written on the forum in so long its really painful somedays to read of all the women sufferring so its very difficult for me to even talk about it most days I have been off Yaz for 4 months today I have had nearly every symptom mentioned Thyroid elevated Blood Pressure raised Heart palps Muscle weakness Terrible horrible anxiety Depressed thoughts Not feeling like myself No confidence anymore Feeling of never getting well Vaginal infection Loss of interest in doing everything I love Right eye feels odd the lid Insomnia severe Loss of appetite As I sit here typing I miss the old me it is like the last 4 months have been a blur a rollercoaster unimaginable nightmare Prior to starting Yaz I was having a great life nice boyfriend fun shopping going out planning trips cleaning gardening working you name it I did it and never ever experience saddness depression or anxiety I was completely confident holistic easy going even tempered I was on the pill 3 weeks 2 days off of it and I was hysterical and thought I was losing my mind and going crazy I cried and didnt leave the house for 6 weeks cried and had my family witness me almost losing my mind or so I thought Although I have made progress I still am not working I cant be a mom like I was to my daughter I dont have confidence I lost 14 lbs I feel shakey in my arms still and have no clue if it is anxiety stress hormonal or if I have some unexplained illness I dont know Living in fear everyday of not being me again is tearing me apart I had the hormone pellets biodentical inserted 3 weeks ago to try and give me a edge on balancing out I have seen psychologists psychaitrists medical doctors wellness doctors hormonal doctors No one knows no one understands no one knows whats wrong Iam forgetting things things I know I know its all scary I hold hope that Bitter RN is better and a few of you I want to be me again What is it we are feeling off the pill months later like m Is it hormonal is it Post Traumatic Stress is it the anxiety is it depression is it medical problems I dont know All Iknow is I was healthy and fine and now all this Anyone who can shed light and hope please say