Been at 50 mg of Lamictal for 6 months now- went to 150 at one ti...

Been at 50 mg of Lamictal for 6 months now- went to 150 at one time with bad results, rash, more depressed, spacy, tired and everything that goes along with that. I take it for depression/anxiuety along with 4 mg of clonipin and Ativan mixed daily.. I am not as sharp as I used to be. Searching for words in speach and typing. I am sure for some people this drug is fine. For me it does nothing but make me worse. I am scared to come off it totally. I am at 37 mg right now. My mood swings are worse. I look for vergbal fights, look to get angry and can't stop myself when I am in a verbal fight.. I am not the same person. I have tried every anti depresant in the books with no results. My only savior is Benzos. Clon and ativan. I would not survive without them. Does anyone know the long term side affects of this drug. When stopping this drug do the side affects diminish or go away. I have much more to say but can't remember cuz of this wonderful drug..Good luck to all