I was prescribed Effexor while attending Uni. My depression was n...

I was prescribed Effexor while attending Uni. My depression was negatively effecting my academic performance and on the edge of getting my scholarship withdrawn, I continued (as a requirement from the board) with Effexor despite its side effects. I advised my counselor but he insisted I continue as it would "get better." On the contrary my self-esteem took a dive, I became way more suicidal, I felt like there were an army of ants crawling under my skin, I was "emotionally numb"....more like I could feel so many emotions at once and in such great magnitude, I felt like I was going to explode....and I did....through slashing my forearm and wrists. I felt like I could breathe when I did that....then I would just return to my bed and lay there....lost. I finally decided to stop medicating, I gave up my scholarship and returned home. The moment I set foot on home ground I didn't know where to start or even if I was going to get a job; but I did, a great job for someone without any degree/diploma....for starters anyway. One day I sat down looking out to the sunset and recalled my days of depression. I beat myself up inside with the realization that I had ALLOWED myself to go be depressed. I realized that it is beatable, it really is in our control; mind over matter! I'm not going to lie, it does creep up at one time or another and I do still feel an imbalance in my emotions, but I find the critical step is to just STOP whatever I'm doing, go out for some fresh air, and remind myself that I have come so far without Effexor and other anti-depressants I've been prescribed with, and I remind myself that I CONTROL what goes on in my mind, and thus my body. Again, it is still challenging at times, but I have decided not to let depression rob me of a happy and fruitful life, and its been great so far.