I'm 31 and started taking Effexor a week ago 75mg to begin with. ...

Hello, I am so sorry for your loss. In all respect to doctors, I believe it's an injustice to medicate us so we cannot FEEL and GRIEVE. I am on my 5th day of effexor withdrawal. The side effects are unbearable. I was on this medication for 8 months. During those months, i became a zombie, a non-person, who couldn't feel, think straight, and didn't care about myself or anyone else. I lost interest in my house, my friends, and even gave away my dog. I gained 20 pounds and in alot of ways lost the respect of my husband. What benefits are there for a person to be medicated in this way.????
What you are describing to some extent, is the grieving process which is totally normal.
Even the thoughts to get your husband's personal belongings from his family is ok. But the suicidal thoughts need to be watched carefully. My advice is get off this medication asap. When you have a particularly rough day, ask your doctor to prescribe 'laprazolam' 1mg. You take this 'as needed'. Once in a while, we all need to get the edge taken off our anxiety. At least this medication, taken once or twice a month doesn't mess you up like effexor. Turn to friends and God to get you over this terrible time in your life. I am reading a book right now called 'The Shack' by William P. Young. It has changed my way of thinking regarding life's tragedies. Check out the website 'theshackbook.com'. I am not trying to preach to you, I am clumsily trying to say that effexor isn't the answer to your problem. We need to FEEL everything from the PAIN of grief to the bittersweet feelings when we remember the happy memories of our loved ones. God bless you as you go through this trial. I hope you have lots of people to talk to right now. Talking really does help. Feel free to email me if you don't have someone to vent to. Try and keep busy. Hope this helped.
P.S. Tomorrow I pick up my new puppy. For me, I choose not to be medicated while going though this life. There is too much to experience, both good and bad.