Hello All. Diagnosed bipolar in 2004, been on and off meds reali...

Hello All. Diagnosed bipolar in 2004, been on and off meds realizing that I guess I can't really be off of them, though having a hard time dealing with it. Been on Lamictal, Lithium, Geodon, and several anti-depressants and others I can't remember honestly in the past, now just Geodon, 80 mg at night (can't do it in the morning, can't work). It's now 2 a.m. and I'm desperate. I feel worse on my meds than I do off, though I get suicidal and sabotage my life and my marriage and kids. I have experienced insomnia, tired in the morning, my muscles ache, I dance all morning long and my co-workers think I'm crazy ( I guess I may be). I have landed in crutches because my "dancing" has caused shin splits. I hold a good job and I have two kids that I need to tend to. My husband travels a lot and I just can't seem to deal with the Geodon. All others caused similar issues. I'm desperate on my meds, but I suffer schitzo symptoms off meds. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. BTW, just found two great doctor's, one for therapy and one for med admin. Only been back on my meds and doctor's appts for 2 months after being off meds for 9 months and suffering another "great" relapse. Help me!!!!