I've been taking 150mg of topamax a day for the last 10 months fo...

I've been taking 150mg of topamax a day for the last 10 months for trigeminal neuralgia. I haven't found any improvement in terms of appetite or memory in this time. Side-effects haven't lessened at all. Tingling in feet and hands, emotional instability including anger and grief, cognitive impairment in terms of slowed though-processes, spelling problems, and general intellectual functioning haven't improved with time. It seems as though I'm still walking in a haze all day long. I can pass ridiculous amounts of time by just staring into space and thinking about nothing. It scares me sometimes but it's taken away a lot of the pain and has allowed me some sort of normality. I'm 28, I want to live and work and build something for myself. So, for now, it's a trade-off .... side-effects vs life with pain or jumping off a balcony with my hands in my pockets some night when I can't take it anymore. It all comes down to the degree of debilitation that your particular disorder imposes and your ability to deal with it. I couldn't physically handle the pain or isolation anymore so I opted for the side-effects. I just wonder what the long-term implications of Topamax will turn out to be in five or 10 or 20 years from now.