I have been taking 500 x 3 each night of Depakote for 7 years. ...

I have been taking 500 x 3 each night of Depakote for 7 years. It caused me to gain 50 lbs. I used to take walks every day at least 6 miles a day after i started taking Depakote, my motivation to walk and do much of anything at all, went away. All i wanted to do was sleep. I still suffer from depression which was my main problem in the first place and the main reason I went to the Dr. and I still do suffer from depressions. I used to write poetry, now I can't do that anymore because I don't have a single inspirational thought coming to my mind about anything. I don't notice the beauty in things like nature anymore as I used to, Basically I just feel like a walking half-zombie. A wall of partial numbness. Recently, now I have been having short term memory loss and it is very irritating and I find it getting worse with each week. The thing I hate the most about this med is the fact that it has made me physically dependent on it, because if I miss a day, or if I am some hours late with taking it, I get a horrible headache, and everything starts to get real bright to my eyes and I feel nauseated and I get stomach pains, which worsensw by the hour that goes by without me taking it. which means I have to always make sure I have an extra dose with me in case I go somewhere and don't get back in time for my next dose. I hate being controlled by a med like this. I am afraid to stop taking it because I have heard stories that if you just stop taking it suddenly, your body will shut down and you can drop dead. I have actually heard this. and I am afraid to tell my doctor that I don't want to take it anymore. Reading about the hair loss is scary, so far that hasn't happened to me. If it does, you can be sure I would end this med faster than anything.