i am really glad i found this site, and got to really understand ...

i am really glad i found this site, and got to really understand what may be my problem. its the SINGULAIR, i really believe. i will share my story so no one has to go through what i have been going through. (i just stopped my medicine a day or two ago, so i will repost and see if i start seeing changes in my behavior) well first off i am 19, and i started taking singulair when i was a senior in high school, so about 2 years ago. i didn't see any noticeable changes for awhile, except for probably a year now, a little more or a little less. for this whole time, i have not been sleeping, i wake up 3-4 times a night, fully awake and can never fall back asleep for hours. its almost like my body tries shutting down, but my brain never does, i have the craziest dreams, most of them are me suffocating or not getting enough air, which are really scary. I have been having really bad anxiety, panic attacks, basically i have been just feeling like i am going to die every second of the day. the feeling of being trapt inside my own body. it seems like every month it just gets worse and worse. i cant focus, i don't go to school, i don't work, and i believe its from the side effects of this medicine. i also always feel so tired, and so weak, i cant even look through a clothes rack without my arm aching. i have been having a hard time breathing, which is odd seeing its supposed to help me breathe, i have been sick at least once a month, through this whole time i have been going to my Dr. at least twice a month or more, telling her my symptoms, i even went in their one day crying i was so scared. and she just kept telling me, its probably all in your head, this, that and the other. she even put me on probably 10 different medicines trying to see which one would help. and of course none of them helped anything. I started thinking, and feeling like i was going crazy, what was wrong with me? i wondered constantly. For a couple months now, i figured i had to take it into my own hands to figure out what was wrong, seeing this Dr. doesn't seem to understand me. I looked up every disease or problem imaginable, and had blood tests done, but every thing came back normal. i didn't understand what was going on, every month i just feel worse and worse, lately i have been telling my mom i just want to die, that i cant keep living my life this way, of course i would not do this for the fact that i couldn't do that to my mom or my little sister, or anyone, but it feels like it would be easier then dealing with everything i have been. along with everything else i was/am feeling, i also feel a lot of hate toward myself, i feel like i am not good at anything, and i feel very ugly, sometime i don't even want to leave my house, because i just feel disgusting. Finally, a couple days ago, my little sister which is 10 and really smart i may add, was watching TV and they happened to have a commercial for SINGULAIR. she told me that everything i have been saying that was wrong with me (she hears me complaining a lot about all my problems to my mom) were all the side effects from SINGULAIR. of course i wanted to know more about this even though i have taken this medicine for awhile without any of these problems, i started researching and realized that all of my symptoms happened to be the side effects from singulair. and then i started reading other peoples stories about it, and about linking it to suicides and everything. i told my mom and i told her i wanted to stop the medicine right away, at least just to see if this is what it was all along. i haven't taken it for 3 days now i believe, and i already see a difference, i actually get tired now instead of staying up reading till 5 in the morning, and i haven't been waking up at all during the night. i am pretty angry that my dr. couldn't figure this out, or at least maybe even think about it. for awhile i thought i was honestly going crazy, i lived in fear for so long that something was extremely wrong with me, that i haven't lived my life the way i should of, or wanted to. i never thought that it was just the EXTREME side effects of this medicine. i am so thankful for my little sister listening to all my complaints and all my anger toward myself, and actually putting it together that it would be my medicine that was supposed to make my asthma better. as i said its only been a couple days and i already feel better, i will repost to tell you if im back to my "normal" self after being off this medicine for a longer period of time. i feel so grateful for my little sister, who would have guessed she would tell me what a Dr. couldn't even think about. i really feel that if i get back to my normal self, i really have her to thank for saving my life. <3