Depakote and depression

I am diagnosed with bipolar - The Dr.s gave me Depakote and I took it for a good 3mo before

A) Returning to the Dr. to be treated for my constant DEPRESSION

B) having the WORST SUICIDAL/HOMICIDAL thoughts of buying a gun and using it...

They wouldn't give me anything for my depression because they said I was too HAPPY at times (You have to be f***g kidding me)

I simply stopped taking it and haven't had but a few minor suicidal thoughts - at least they are not homicidal, and I have been back to being super happy all the time. Im sorry if you are not supposed to be happy in this life - I will gladly embrace the daily ups and downs over the 3 months of flatlined hardcore depression any day! I did not like NOT being myself at all.

I have been taking 500 x 3 each night of Depakote for 7 years. It caused me to gain 50 lbs. I used to take walks every day at least 6 miles a day after i started taking Depakote, my motivation to walk and do much of anything at all, went away. All i wanted to do was sleep.

I still suffer from depression which was my main problem in the first place and the main reason I went to the Dr. and I still do suffer from depressions.

I used to write poetry, now I can't do that anymore because I don't have a single inspirational thought coming to my mind about anything.

I don't notice the beauty in things like nature anymore as I used to, Basically I just feel like a walking half-zombie. A wall of partial numbness.

Recently, now I have been having short term memory loss and it is very irritating and I find it getting worse with each week.

The thing I hate the most about this med is the fact that it has made me physically dependent on it, because if I miss a day, or if I am some hours late with taking it, I get a horrible headache, and everything starts to get real bright to my eyes and I feel nauseated and I get stomach pains, which worsensw by the hour that goes by without me taking it.

which means I have to always make sure I have an extra dose with me in case I go somewhere and don't get back in time for my next dose. I hate being controlled by a med like this.

I am afraid to stop taking it because I have heard stories that if you just stop taking it suddenly, your body will shut down and you can drop dead. I have actually heard this. and I am afraid to tell my doctor that I don't want to take it anymore.

Reading about the hair loss is scary, so far that hasn't happened to me.
If it does, you can be sure I would end this med faster than anything.

I'm 49yr old male just started taking Depakote, 1000mg a day. Bipolar, which I was just diagnose with. I've had depression for years, Prozac, etc the usual suspects.
I've been on Depakote 10days now, along with Cymbalta 60mg which I started 18days ago(I was on Celexa 30mg) New doc and therapist also helped. I've already taken a complete 180, and I mean within a matter of days I feel like there is hope and a future again. May be Cymbalta/Depakote combo? Whatever it is I have no complaints. I actually feel TOO GOOD? If that's my problem I have no problems. No appetite increase/hair?- hey, I'm 50yrs old, who cares...

People taking this drug for seizures are going to have very different experiences then the bipolars, I believe. Pretty much everyone has some weight gain, but not major (10-20lbs).
I was diagnosed as a rapid cycling bipolar, and before this drug, I was completely miserable. I was started on Depakote instead of Lithium due to fewer side effects, and it was a huge sucess.
Moods are stable, manic episodes are gone, sleep is stabilzed, libido is normal, depression is rare. I am 20 lbs heavier, happy, and "normal". I can't say enough good things about this drug.
Bipolars, steer away from the negative comments here and go to the bipolar support sites. You will find almost nothing but positive testimonials about this drug for our condition.

My 18 year old son is taking Depakote for the first time and I am wondering for people who have taken this what do you remember from the first time taking the medication?
I am concerned about depression, concentration and increased weight.