Desogen and horrible dream

I was on desogen for four months and I got it from planned parenthood. I felt okay on the pill, except i always felt fat and the week before my period I was a total witch, and extremely irritable. So I decided to go off of it, Well now it is worse! This pill has messed me up so badly. I am having a lot of issues with my boyfriend who I have been with for 1 year. Prior to this pill I always knew I loved him, we always had fun and got along and everything with him was perfect. Now that im off it, I feel numb towards him I have tried breaking up with him 3 times, but can never go through with it because some rational part of my brain kicks in and my gut and heart tell me its not right. I don't want to do things I normally do. I don't want to shop, hang out with friends. Its also unfortunate I start college in less than one week, I have a lot of change coming at me and I cant handle it because Im not emotionally stable right now due to an extreme hormonal imbalance. I get really bad anxiety attacks, and panic attacks. I cant stand any change. I feel numb, and just lost. I feel like everyday I get up is just a horrible dream. I anticipate the worst for everything. I just feel so messed up and its all because of this damn pill. How do I know its the pill and Im not going insane? well its no coincidence this all started happening two days after I ended the pack. This pill has fucked with my life so bad and Im scared Im going to loose the love of my life because of it. Its a fight everyday just to feel normal lately. This has to stop. This pill makes you feel like shit on it and wven worse off of it.