Geodon and manic episodes

I just took my third pill of Geodon. I took Abilify for a week, and I had a couple of really bad manic episodes that would not let up. I felt like shit and yet they were mixed episodes. I just changed to Geodon, and have tried a lot of other drugs (but I wasn't too committed when I was younger). OKay, I feel like I do when I used to use crystal meth. My pupils are huge, i see things out of the corners of my eyes and believe them to be something different than what they actually are. I feel like I'm kind of in my own different world, a different spectrum. I hear kind of echoes and muffled sounds. I'm manic but in an indifferent way as what do you know? Another mixed episode most of today. If I start something, I work hard at it, but feel som indifferent and mixed about everything that in that aspect, I feel like I'm on cocaine. Cocaine always made me feel inbetween good and bad. Id feel one for a minute and then the next. It would make my feelings and stuff teeter totter. Cocaine was not my favorite for these reasons. At the gym tonight, i was superwoman. I did the eliptical machine at 10mph!! Crazy. I feel beat, but awake and meth-like dead. It sucks. Mania was great for my exercising and for ya know, a couple of things, but in general, Im so sick of it. Go away, mania. Go away side effects. I don't know what else to expect anymore and am afraid to stay on it, but dont want to get off if this shitty feeling is only temporary. thanks