Lamictal and six months

I have been taking Lamictal for about 2 1/2 years now. I have been taking 200 mg for two years. I have experienced very few side effect. Except vivid dreams and not sleeping well. I have always had vivid dreams but there is one I have had since the medication it was so awful that I can't stop thinking about it and it makes me feel suicidal. I have had many ups and downs in my life but never thought suicide to be a positive option. I don't think I would do it but I can't stand these awful repetitive thoughts. I have had less and less energy in the last 6 months or so. I thought it was because I was working to much. I have quit doing most the things I love. I have always been a high energy person. So I thought it must be the Lamictal. When I had complained to my doctor he said that it sounded like depression and normally they would increase the dosage but he would decrease it if I wanted. I went to 150 and then 100. I felt awful just like I used to before the drug. So I went back up to 200 and at least I didn't feel so awful. So I increased it to 250mg and I started to fell less depressed. Sometimes I have taken to much in the past because I forgot I had taken it and repeated the does. That is when I had the first bad dream that has haunted me since. Then I started to forget to take my medication off and on and that is when the depression started. Now I took the 250 and I had another haunting dream. This drug really has been a miracle for me. I have never felt this stable in my entire life! In the past I was trying to self medicate but since the Lamictal I have quit smoking pot and drinking. I don't like alcohol and drugs anymore because I don't like to feel altered anymore. Most of the symptoms everyone has described are how I felt before Lamictal and I feel better since. I will never go below 200mg or above again without a suitable alternative. I still can't get rid of the repetitive thoughts on 200mg. Typical anti-depressants have the opposite effect for me. Has anyone found a suitable alternative. I have heard that other drugs for bi-polar such as Lithium and Depakote have a sedative effect and I don't like that. I want to be my normal energetic self!

lamictal controls seizures if you take it at the right time. i am on 200 at night and 200 in the morning plus epilim. sometimes i just sit and cry wen im trying to concentrate on reading books i have to study or trying to remember work i learnt at school which has left my brain. im failing school not matter how hard i try, i study all the time then the next day i have forgotten it. im so young and i havnt even started my future yet and i may have screwed it already. failing exams because i forgot wat i learnt the night before hurts so bad. its hard to say "hey everyone the reason i failed is because lamictal screws my memory" i know thats what it is. i was extremely intelligent before i started taking it, but now im a failure. i guess deep inside i know really im not a failure, but lamictal makes me one. : ( p.s add a constant hand tremor and sudden jerking movements every now and then.

This is a total nightmare and i need advice! I was on Lamictal for a year and about six months into my health began to slowly deteriorate. It started with shortness of breath and heart palpitations and eventually attacked every system of my body. My symptoms are muscle pain, spasms and knots to the point that i can't turn my neck sometimes, joint pain (mostly knees), stabbing floating pain everywhere, headaches, frightening tingling in my extremities and a few times my entire body, sore throat, flu-like feelings, stomach cramps, bloating and heartburn. The list goes on. I have been off of it now for two weeks. My psychiatrist has never seen this type of reaction before and is not convinced it is the Lamictal. I have been to every single type of doctor and the ER twice, had extensive lab work, CT scan and two MRIs. I have been off Lamictal now for two weeks and am not feeling much relief. I am so scared and frustrated and please need advice. Has anyone else experienced this? Does it ever go away? I feel like I am literally living a nightmare with no-one to turn to for advice because no-one seems to know ANYTHING!!!!