Lithium Carbonate and anger

I take lithium, 1350mg/day, for 5 years now, and about 2 years ago I started getting tremors but worse in my left hand, so it was actually painful and for a while the doctor thought it was carpal tunnel but it turned out not to be and he didnt know what caused it-now ever since then my left hand has gotten worse & typing with it is a little problematic, its like the nerves are messed up in that hand, it won't always hit the right numbers. Its starting to freak me out a little, but in the last year I've started having episodes where my entire left side goes tingly like its asleep, my vision blurs, I get shaky all over and have such rapid heart palpitations it feels like my entire body is in shock. This lasts for about half an hour usually, has landed me in the ER twice, & they claimed each time not to know what caused it and looked at me like I was making it up, and didn't give me anything for it. I also get the typical symptoms- mild hair loss, memory loss, speech impairment, weight gain (I was 120 now I'm 160- luckily it distributed so its not too obvious), & it does not stop depressive episodes, just shortens them, and I still get anger episodes fairly often, usually as a split second reaction to something very small. I'm definitely looking into getting off of this as it is worrying me, more about the episodes and my left arm/hand issues than anything else, especially that now I have trouble with coordination in my left hand,which sucks because my desk jobs always involve a LOT of typing.

I have only been on lithium carbonate - 500 mg a day - for a month now, but experience no side effects, other than the mild nausea I experienced during the first two weeks of treatment and which has now stopped. I feel much better, like a sane person for the first time in many years. Make no mistake, BPD is a really shitty brain disorder, there are no benefits from it whatsoever. Even when you are on an "up" with BPD it's delusional. You think you are doing great work or whatever, but that's just your own mistaken impression. With BPD you so doubt yourself, not only when you are on a low but also when you think you are on a high, that you become depressed and furiously angry, because you know there is something not right with you. This anger and self disgust feeds the disease even more. I feel more motivated and less angry on lithium carbonate. One of the masks that BPD wears is Narcissistic personality disorder. Things that cooking and cleaning up are beneath you. These days I quite like cooking a nice meal, and have no objection to cleaning up any mess, as long as I created most of it in the first place. Hell, if i continue to feel this good about myself, I might even volunteer for a soup kitchen. You don't find many Narcissists there!
I was told to take 250g morning and evening, but find I function better when I take a double dose in the morning.
Is my hair going to fall out eventually? I don't know. I don't really care all that much, as I never had great hair in the first place, and tend to wear wigs which are very close to my own hairstyle - few people can tell the difference, other than commenting on how great my hair looks when I wear a wig. You can look quite pretty in bandanna style scarves too, you know.