Paxil and struggle

I was on Paxil for about a year and have stopped taking Paxil about 5 months ago. I had to stop taking it because I do not have health coverage BUT my main reason is because i've been depressed and have fought anxiety my entire life and I do not want to be medicated my entire life. I did it for one year, it worked somewhat but coming off of was hell, but I feel that I want to fight my anxiety and depression with God and myself, not any drug, I excercise more now and EVERYDAYYYY! is a struggle! I feel droopy still from the after effects of paxil, im not doing well in college because I have a hard time concentrating, my eyes are always glossy, im nervous in large crowds (going to the groceery store is HUGE for me) and I feel like Ive done something to deserve this. But I know it is a battle that I need to overcome without a drug, I understand some people need to take it, but as for me, I may be struggling in school or feel tired all the time but if I have to struggle and fight through, I want to do it!

Another thing, I soemtimes feel alone when it comes to talking about anxiety and depression and being medicated on Paxil. It is sooooo NICE to write to other people and hear there stories. It makes me feel sooooo much better. THANK-YOU! God Bless!