Risperdal and kgs

I have been on risperdal for 12 years and it has improved my life greatly. I was a paranoid schizophrenic who was thin. I have gained more than 50 kgs but now on a diet which is losing it. I have experienced anxiety but it is far better than it was when I was sick. I have my life back again and am more social and happy. I am able to study and working is still a problem, as I have a little problem in learning new things and remembering and I am a lot less verbal and articulate than I was. It has slowed my thought processes down. I still get strange thoughts from time to time, and my dream activity has become very strange. It is like a sequel each night and the dreams seem real and with the same characters. It has made life interesting. I have also developed phobias and obsessions. Not sure if this is part of the illness or the side effects though. I have noticed I am much more calmer after the tablets than I was before and a lot less emotional. There are some things I have to work at but I have learnt how to overcome my fears gradually and work with them. Overall, I could not imagine my life without it. I tried to go off it and it was far worse as the illness came back again.