Topamax and panic attacks

i was put on topamax for migraines back in aug 07.

well, i stopped it like 5 months ago. (2june 08) i still feel "out of it" like i'm here but im not. headaches came back but i would rather deal with them than all these side effects. i got severe panic attacks and nervousness, MAJOR HAIR LOSS, AGORAPHOBIA (FEAR OF LEAVING MY HOUSE CUZ IM SCARED TO HAVE ANOTHER PANIC ATTACK), i constantly feel dispatched from my family (i have 3 boys and a husband) every day i feel sick or tired, or both. which led me to stop the meds. (25mg am and 25-50mg pm) i weaned off over like 2 weeks (on my own cuz the neuro told me not to stop it and its all in my head.

i had to quit my job cuz of the panic attacks that just happen for no reason.

i still feel all the side effects even though i have been off topamax. hair loss, panic attacks, depression, "high" feeling all the time, cant hold a normal conversation. i have changed soooo dramatically from when i first went to the neuro and started this HORRIBLE DRUG. poor concentration, i don't feel like i want to be involved in anything- i just wanna lay on the couch with an ice pack on my head. i don't know what to do. my neuro doesn't know i stopped the drug and i was so mad at him for putting me on it that i didn't go to my last appt. now i have to wait until January to see him.

I thought I had sinuses for years..got test for allergies and was founded to be allergic to nothing! Despite having at least 3 infections a year and on my 3rd nose spray, zyrtec, nyquil at night..ect..because I was contantly congested and had drainage & headaches..3-4 infections a year.. She ordered a cat scan and was told that my sinuses had spurs but was clear; my septum was severely deviated and I needed a ENT to have surgery to correct it...The ENT wanted to do major surgery which included a plastic surgeon... so I went for a second opinion to another ENT that was well known who told me I had rebound headaches..and referred me to a neurologist..my goal was to get off all the meds (nose sprays, nettie pot, antihistamines..nyquil..ect..) ..he was a dinosaur and was convinced that although I had a severe deviated septum~he didnt want to do surgery but wanted me to stop all meds I was on and to go to his neurologist that he liked *(another dinosaur) who put me on Topamax..50mg in the morning and 50 mg at night..I had panic attacks right away so he added 20 mg of klonopin at night to help with that and flexeril to help me relax...he hinted at me going to a pysch doctor which pissed me off right as if I was psychosomatic or something... and stiffled me a few times when I tried to talk to him about my drainage and congestion~he wanted to hear none of that because he already made his mind up what I had and "sinuses" didn't jive with his impression that I had migraines.

All of the sudden within days I really did have migraines..they just hit me! HARD...I had to call him and tell him I was in excruciating pain on the right side...he called in Imitrex inj. and they worked within 5 min. and my Topamax went from 100 mg total > 250 mg/day! I had at least 6 shots since and the side effects of the Topamax have profoundly changed my personality...I have no word recall..like being stoned in the 70's but worse because I have a special needs child and I need to engage her and am like a zombie! I have ALL the same sx that are mentioned but notice one that isnt noted which is my tongue is raw as well as my throat...all the way down into my stomach...I am having to take zantac for acid indigestion~it is like my insides are raw!
I am also having extreme constipation...I lost weight in the first 2 mos. where I couldn't eat nothing..but now I am eating cause it's there but it is not leaving me even when I take multiply doses of my old standby... I am drinking tons of water..at least 64 oz a day but it is not helping. My eyes are burning at times...I need my reading glasses all the time now. Some days my heart is beating out of my chest for no reason..at rest..I just feel ill like something is not right at all! I don't go nowhere & have become a hermit. My headaches are gone but I feel I am just a shell of a person and want to get off...I am slowly weaning off by doing it 25mg at a time for one week at a time....then another 25mg another week......I know I will have migraines but I will just bite the bullet and suffer through it till I am off this poison....I have some injections left..MY main goal was to be off meds and these side effects are horrible! Once I am completely off I am going to a good ENT that can do the surgery to fix my sinuses so that I can hopefully be drug free as I intended. I too wasn't told of these side effects at all. So much time & $$$$ wasted! I think if I stay on this too much longer it will truly do long term harm!

I have been back on 125mg of Top for about 9 months now. I tried it for 1 year prior to this with too many side effect. I have taken it for migraines and an eating disorder. Instead of helping this time around I believe it triggered emotional issues, panic attacks, nerve damage in the occipital region of the left side of my brain (more than what seemed to already be causing headaches from the start), I relapsed with my eating disorder and lost too much weight, and had something called psychosis. Psychosis is a disordered thought pattern seen in many different mental illnesses or those in a confused state of mind. When I'd look at a stop like I would not be able to determine in my mind whether it was red or green and I would just go through it. I felt like I was going into some sort of coma all the time as well. Now that I am on an eating plan and exercising a bit less the side effects are a little less but the doctors are looking for an alternative at this time. I have tried every med out there.