Topamax and serotonin

I love topamax.
I've been taking topamax for depression for 5 months. I started on 25 mgs a day, than worked my way up to 25 in the am and 25 in the pm, and now my doctor is moving me up to 50 in the am and 50 in the pm. I'm 31 years old, and have tried antidepressants since I was 17. I've struggled with depression since I was a kid. Antidepressants always made my depression worse, and caused me to get brain shivers because I don't tolerate serotonin drugs well. Antipsychotics for depression cause me to want to kill myself. Topamax was the only relief I have ever found.
The biggest side effect is sometimes I feel high or stoned like I smoked pot, especially if I am tired from not eating or pushing myself too hard. Most people don't get this, I just have a very strange brain chemistry.
Topamax works in the temporal lobe of your brain and can cause serious cognitive side effects if you do not already have damage in that part of your brain. That's why some people love it and some people hate it.
Weight loss isn't something I have experienced either, which sucks because I am overweight. I actually gained 10 pounds since being on topamax and I love carbonated beverages. But I am also the kind of person that quits smoking and loses 20 pounds, so I don't know if that will be true for you. I've also been way more thirsty since starting topamax, and my feet do fall asleep easier. But circulation improves if I practice a little yoga every day.
Don't be scared of this medication. It could really save your life.