Toprol-XL and t4

I'm 31 and a recovered cancer patient (in remission since 2001). I've been trough it all. Surgery, chemo, radiation, BMT's, you name it. I currently suffer from three separate sleep disorders, as well as hypothyroidism. As you can imagine, I've grown to become very in tune with my body. And, having gone through everything I have over the years, and having taken all kinds of medications, I have never experienced such dissatisfaction and such a high level of negative side-effects as I have with Toprol XL.

My primary care doctor, who is also a cardiologist, put me on Toprol XL to treat an elevated heart rate -- as a result of all my past health issues, my auto-regulatory system is, as he puts is, “just messed-up now.” He started me on 50 mg a day. Immediately, I experienced trouble breathing: I woke one night and felt as though I was drowning. Over the course of about 8 months, he's lowered my dose to 12.5 mg a day. And, for a while, that seemed to be OK. But, recently, the trouble breathing has returned.

I'm at a point now where I'm afraid to go to sleep -- the moment I lie down, I find myself gasping for air. All day long, I have a constant wheezing. I can't go up a flight of stairs without needing to sit down and catch my breath -- I feel as though I'm about to faint from loss of air. I spend most of my day with a sensation of being suffocated. I cough frequently, but it gives me no relief.

I have noticed other side effects. Notable is the weight gain. I've never in my life weighed more than 145 lbs. I’m 163 now. I was blaming the weight gain on the thyroid, but I'm on a fairly high dose of that medication, and I've yet to experience any loss of weight. I'm gaining, despite only eating one meal a day. I attribute this weight to the Toprol.

Also, I have been experiencing moments of extreme anxiety -- this is very unusual for me. I also want to say that never once during all my dealings with cancer did I ever experience depression, and that right there should give you an indication of what type of person I am. Yet, now, since being on the Toprol XL, I find I lack the energy and desire to do much of anything anymore.

My doctor seems very quick to dismiss my concerns, telling me, "you need to give this medication a chance." I think 8 months of my life is enough -- I have lost all patience with this medication, and I'm just about losing it with him, as well. I didn't survive cancer and all the other complications that came with it just to have my life brought to a total standstill by a single medication. This is so infuriating.

I'm making an appointment to speak with my doctor right away. If he continues to insist I stay on Toprol XL and ignore my concerns, I will tell him I no longer feel comfortable with having him as my primary care physician. I want my life back.