Wellbutrin and crap

I stopped taking wellbutrin xl 150 mg and lamictal 200 mg 3 days ago cold turkey because there is no way to cut thewelbutrin tablet in half and take it safely. The first day wasn't bad at all. I felt better than I have felt in years and years. Then yesterday I felt okay, but not as good as I did on the first day. Today I woke up feeling like I have the flu. Every single bone, joint and muscle in my body aches. I feel fine one minute and the next minute the room feels like it's spinning and the body aches return. My psychiatrist started me on all of this poison,,, oops, I mean, medications 2 years ago. I had lost a child and had gone into a deep depression which led to severe anorrhexia. He started me out on Lamictal and Lexapro and after a year of awful side effects from the lexapro(especially sexual side effects=no desire at all) he finally switched me to the wellbutrin xl and told me that it would help better than the lexapro. At my last appointment, 1 week ago, I asked him when and if I would ever be able to go off of these meds. And he told me that I am probably a "lifer". He refused to hear anything about my stopping or weaning off of these meds. So, after my 3 minute office visit and prescription refills written out I left the office. I did not take the prescription to the pharmacy because I decided then and there that the only reason he and a lot of other psychs put people on these outrageously priced prescriptions(the lamictal is $140 a month and the wellbutrin xl is $170 and that is for the generic per moth) is because they get HUGE incentives from the pharmaceutical companies to keep us on them. I will not go back on the meds ever again. I am tired of living in a drugged up state. I want to feel alive again like I felt before I ever started taking this crap.

Feb 2005 I was given Wellbutrin to ease with the stop smoking. I don't go to doctors and I don't take any medication-NONE. But I had to do something I couldn't stop smoking. May 10th I had a seizure, have never had one prior or have not had one since. Family took me to emergency room, then I had brain tests, sleep tests, MRI, CAT scans, over $10,000. later in medical bills, well they couldn't find anything wrong.
Not one Dr. would say it was because of the 3wk supply of the crap I took.
I refuse another Dr. and over my dead body will I put a prescription in my body.

I have been taking Wellbutrin 200mg daily for about 2 weeks. I have taken prozac, which made me very violent, I've taken paxil and quit taking it when I got pregnant, and I've taken Zoloft, which worked wonderfully for me. Then, there is the Wellbutrin. When I first started it, I was tired and out-of-it. I figured I would give it a few days for my body to adjust. Now, I am tired, out-of-it, restless, annoyed at everyone, don't want to be touched, nervous, scared, emotional roller coaster, constant headache, muscle aches, stomach upset, smells are very pronounced, and to top it off, I thought I could quit smoking....but turns out I want to smoke more, however, they taste like crap, and smell even worse! I think I am going back to the doctor to switch back to zoloft. Wish I would have never started taking Wellbutrin!

I have memory loss and I'm a teacher. I'm just hoping that the memory loss will not be long term. Does this stuff cause brain damage? It's possible. I will probably get off of this drug soon.